Nothingness

Nothingness....
Finally it all come down to this. This moment of realization. Why i need t o do something so terrible before realizing this?
Why I wait for the worse thing to happen to make a change that should have been made long ago when not much damage is done?

Why I am like this? I am not like this.. I am good person. Brought up with good value.
If something so terrible make you make become a worse possible person you can image? then I must get myself out of this situation I am trapped in. IT ABSOLUTELY DOING NO GOOD TO ANYONE!