like watercolours in the rain....

I don't want my blog to be a dead blog, I want to keep on posting..... but I just running out of idea.... it just nothing interesting happening in my life or life of people around me.
A friend of mine suggested, if there is nothing to write about own life...we can can write some commentaries on recent happenings or headlines. The thing is, it has been a while since I actually sit down to read newspaper properly or watch news on TV. Not that I am busy, it just that I seems to be loosing interest in things happening around me.
I guess I am undergoing some kinda change in my life, I wish I know what it is! And hopefully it is good changes.
Ever since 2005 started, I keep on thinking the meaning of life. Why we are here, is our existence significant? are we making full use of the opportunity given to us? What we have accomplished in our life? what good changes we have caused in others? Are we taking things for granted? Are we really appreciating all the good things we have? and thousand more questions like this keep on playing in my head like a broken record!
Is it because I am going to be 30 soon and start panicking? that I haven't accomplished anything in my life? What I want to accomplish anyway? do I even have a goal in life?... here we go again..... with these annoying series of questions......
Anyway.... I am hoping that whatever I am going through now, will pass eventually....

I used to sing this song whenever I am blue those days, all of sudden I remembered it again....why......

Going trough the motions.
Ending up nowhere at all.
Can't see the sun on my wall.
Going trough emotions.
Ending up on a frozen morning with a heart not even broken.
Seems I've been running all my life all my life.
Seems I've been running all my life all my life like watercolours in the rain.
Find a place to settle down.
Get a job in a city nearby and watch the trains roll on by.
I'll find the falling star.
I'll fall in love with the eyes of a dreamer and a dream worth believing.
Seems I've been running all my life all my life.
Seems I've been running all my life all my life like watercolours in the rain.

The Birdie Part II

Well the birds life span did not last long. On the raya haji day, the cat got the yellow bird, it survived, hardly, unable to fly because the one of the wing is damaged by the cat's claw. The blue one survived. I wonder how on earth the cat (bad...bad kitty !!!) got the cage, according to my mother in law, after the morning shower she gave the birds every morning (yes, she does that every morning), she hang the bird cage on the cloth line, it was a bit lower that he usual position, next minute the cage was on the ground and a cat trying to reach the birdies inside.

Pity the yellow bird. For few days my MIL tried to mend the wound by applying turmeric, and the situation seems to improved for the yellow one, but she still unable to jump around the cage, just sit there at the bottom of the cage silently......

Few days after "The Attack" the blue one escaped mysteriosly, nobody knows what happened. The cage was intacted, but the blue bird was missing...... Mulder and Scully working on the case. The yellow one died few day after that, we found it with her head in the water container in the cage, may be she drown while trying to drink or committed suicide out of loneliness.

Quite a tragic story indeed...............

3rd Wedding Anniversary...

Tomorrow is 2nd of Feb 05, it is my 3rd wedding anniversary.

What I am feeling? It i kinda mixed actually, I am feeling happy, for my love for my wife still going strong after 3 years. But I can't avoid feeling sad also, for the 1000 milion dollar question that me and my wife really can't avoid. When you guys are planning to have babies?

Its hurt after sometimes, most people just jump to conclusion that we are planning, the truth is we never did, it just God has not given us baby, thats why we still don't have babies.

"Belum ada rezeki lagi" This is my standard answer.

Only God knows whats going on in my wife's and my heart.



Happy 3rd anniversary dear!