This was a debate title for English's debate when I was in form 5. I wasn't in the debate team, I was just one of the members of the floor. The point of argument was simple, from the perspective of a 17//18 years old students. If you love someone or something, you need to let that someone or something go. That was simple. The students debated that if you love your pet, you should let the pet go free, if you love you kids, have to let them go free and the opposing team came up with some nice good arguments as well.I am not going to discuss about the debate here. It was interesting, but sadly the debate did not go any deeper than that. Most points were touched at the surface only never too deep. Now when I think of it, its makes more sense to me. And also I realize that my friends back in 1993 (yes, I am old) were looking at the debate title from different (even wrong?) point of view.
I am married. I love my wife. Does this mean that I need let my wife go free? Or my wife loves me, so probably she will let me go free? (hmmmmm would she? most probably! ha ha) Doesn't make sense right?
After married for 4 years, it makes more sense to me know. When we love someone, we need to let go of the control we have on them to go free, NOT to let them go free. I am not talking about possessive psychos we sometimes see in TV, they really need to see a shrink. After being in a relationship for a long period of time, we tend to take control of our loved one sub-consciously. We start making plans without consulting them, we start to assuming things. We start to make decision on their behalf thinking that we are making the right decision for their own good. We start to take control of their life indirectly. Thus, we are not giving the freedom to run their own life. And due to this kinda restriction in freedom, stress will start to build up in the relationship, with either party not knowing the root of the problem since both party also try to take control of each other's life! Then one day...boom! volcano will erupt! When both parties can't take it any longer.
We are not letting our loved one free to decide! If we love someone, we need to let them go free! Not physically but the emotional control we posses over them!
I know, I know, many will say, you been married for 4 years and only now you know this? But relationship is tricky subject, you can't really measure the maturity/stability of a relationship by the number of years. There is no measure actually, it always evolved from one form to another.
So I guess, I need to practice what I preach, and letting go my loved one... ( I mean the control)
Just my 2-cents worth...........
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